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Confessions of a Feeding Therapist

Deena Miller • May 11, 2024

Navigating Mealtime Mayhem with Intuitive Eating

Can we take a moment to talk about the chaos that sometimes descends upon our dinner tables? As a feeding therapist and a parent, I've experienced my fair share of mealtime struggles—spilled milk, food flung across the room, and that dreaded moment when your child takes one look at their plate and declares, "I don't like it!" But amidst the mess and the meltdowns, there's a glimmer of hope shining through: the concept of intuitive eating.


A Peek Behind the Curtain

Before we dive into the nitty-gritty of intuitive eating for picky eaters, let me share a bit about my own journey as both a feeding therapist and a parent. Yes, even those of us who make a living helping others navigate the tricky waters of childhood nutrition have our moments of doubt and frustration.

Just the other day, I found myself staring at my son's untouched dinner plate, feeling that all-too-familiar pang of worry creeping in. "Why won't he eat?" I thought to myself, as visions of empty calories and vitamin deficiencies danced in my head. But then, like a gentle reminder from the universe, it hit me: children are intuitive eaters.


Learning from Our Little Teachers

Just the other day, my son had had a big lunch and snacked his way through the afternoon. So when dinnertime rolled around, it's no wonder he wasn't exactly raring to go. In that moment, I had to take a step back and remind myself that my son was simply listening to his body's cues—he wasn't hungry, and that was okay.


It was a humbling reminder that even as a feeding therapist, I'm not immune to the stress and worry that can accompany mealtime struggles. But it was also a powerful lesson in the importance of trusting our children to know what's best for their bodies, even when it goes against our parental instincts.


Putting Intuitive Eating into Practice

So how do we make intuitive eating work for our picky eaters, even when our parental instincts are screaming at us to intervene? Here are a few strategies that have helped me navigate the ups and downs of mealtime with my own kiddos:

1. Listen to Their Bodies:

Encouraging your child to tune into their body's hunger and fullness cues is key to fostering intuitive eating habits. Instead of insisting they clean their plate or finish their vegetables, teach them to recognize when they're truly hungry and when they've had enough. This might mean allowing them to eat smaller portions or skip a meal altogether if they're not feeling hungry—and that's perfectly okay. Trusting your child to know what they need empowers them to develop a healthy relationship with food based on internal cues rather than external pressures.

2. Respect Their Choices:

Respecting your child's food preferences is essential for promoting a positive mealtime experience. Avoid pressuring them to eat foods they don't like or forcing them to try new things. Instead, offer a variety of options and let them take the lead in deciding what they want to eat. By giving them autonomy over their food choices, you not only show respect for their individual preferences but also empower them to explore and expand their palate at their own pace.

3. Create a Positive Atmosphere:

Mealtime should be about more than just filling bellies—it should be a time for connection, bonding, and enjoyment. Create a positive atmosphere by keeping things light, relaxed, and free from pressure or conflict. Focus on fostering a sense of joy and togetherness around the table, rather than stressing over what's on the plate. Engage your child in conversation, share stories, and laugh together as you savor the experience of sharing a meal as a family.

4. Lead by Example:

As the saying goes, "actions speak louder than words," and nowhere is this truer than at the dinner table. Be a positive role model for your child by modeling healthy eating behaviors yourself. Show them that it's okay to listen to their body's cues and enjoy a variety of foods without guilt or restriction. Incorporate a diverse range of nutritious foods into your own meals and demonstrate a balanced approach to eating. By leading by example, you not only teach your child valuable habits but also create a supportive environment where intuitive eating can flourish.


By implementing these strategies, we can help our picky eaters develop a healthy relationship with food based on trust, respect, and self-awareness. Remember, mealtime may not always go according to plan, but by embracing the principles of intuitive eating, we can navigate the ups and downs with grace and confidence.


Digging Deeper into Intuitive Eating

Now, you might be wondering—what's the science behind all this? Let me share some fascinating insights that shed light on why children are indeed natural intuitive eaters. Researchers like Johnson and Birch (1994) have delved into this topic and uncovered some compelling evidence. Their studies have shown that preschool-aged children have an impressive ability to regulate their food intake based on internal cues of hunger and fullness. Essentially, when your little one declares they're not hungry, it's not just a ploy to escape their veggies; they're genuinely attuned to their body's signals. This innate ability to self-regulate is a testament to the intuitive eating wisdom that children possess. It's a reminder that, as parents, we can trust our children to know what their bodies need, even when it seems to defy our expectations. So, the next time your kiddo pushes away their plate, remember—they're not being stubborn or difficult; they're simply listening to their body and honoring its cues.


So there you have it—my own little confession from the trenches of parenthood and feeding therapy. Mealtime may not always be smooth sailing, but by embracing the principles of intuitive eating and trusting our children to know what's best for their bodies, we can navigate the waters with a little more grace and a lot less stress. Here's to embracing the chaos and finding the joy in every messy, magical mealtime moment!


Reference:

Johnson, S. L., & Birch, L. L. (1994). Parents' and children's adiposity and eating style. Pediatrics, 94(5), 653-661.


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